"That's the way this wheel keeps working now..."

Well... it's five weeks into "summer". But for me, it's not just summer. I'm now five weeks into the rest of my life. It's not the same anymore. I'm not going back to school, i'm not looking for just a summer job, i'm not really working to help pay for school or to have a little extra pocket money. This is the real thing! I'm starting to "build my wealth", as the famous x-curve illustration says i'm supposed to do. I think this is the first time i've been hit with this reality. I've always known it. But often times, facts just aren't enough to affect you... well... me anyway.

I was scared for a bit. It's quite frightening if you dwell on it for too long, actually. But then I remembered that this is how things work. And although i'm entering into a totally new stage of life, it's nothing i haven't done before, in principle. I remember when i graduated from Grade 8 and went into high school. It felt like i had a chance to make myself new again. To build new relationships that would last a lifetime, to learn things that only the inner workings of the high school society can teach you. By the time i got to my last year in high school, i had built a certain self-image. Even at church, i had the chance to be the youngest worship leader in church in only a couple of years. I had established myself and i thought i knew who i was.

Then i went off to university and the whole thing started over again, but on a larger scale. My high school had 3000 people, western had 30,000. I was a spec of cosmic dust against a whole galaxy of stars and complex solar systems, or so it felt. But then year after year, slowly but surely, i began to break out of my shell and started establish myself again. I went from that shy, quite guy in the corner playing guitar during ACF sinspiration, to a member of the fellowship exec committee and the leader of a successful men's cell group. To tell you the truth, it was quite a transformation and a heck of a journey.

Now I'm back home. For a while i felt like i had crossed some sort of proverbial finish line. But in all reality, all i was doing was climbing up another rung in the ladder, taking another step into bigger, more wide open world. All of a sudden, that galaxy i left back at university seems so small compared to what i'm faced with today. And so the cycle starts all over again. Now i'm the youngest associate at the WFG ottawa office by at least a few years. When i find a cell group at church, i'm pretty sure i'll be the youngest one there too. To say the least, i have my work cut out for me.

Like i said, for a little while i was scared. Only today did i realize that although i'll be heading up completely new challenges and experiences, God has shaped me a certain way and put me through all that stuff in the past to prepare me for today. Today i have a new confidence. I've broken out of my shell many times before, and i will do it again with God at my side, for I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Bring it on.