"That's the way this wheel keeps working now..."

Well... it's five weeks into "summer". But for me, it's not just summer. I'm now five weeks into the rest of my life. It's not the same anymore. I'm not going back to school, i'm not looking for just a summer job, i'm not really working to help pay for school or to have a little extra pocket money. This is the real thing! I'm starting to "build my wealth", as the famous x-curve illustration says i'm supposed to do. I think this is the first time i've been hit with this reality. I've always known it. But often times, facts just aren't enough to affect you... well... me anyway.

I was scared for a bit. It's quite frightening if you dwell on it for too long, actually. But then I remembered that this is how things work. And although i'm entering into a totally new stage of life, it's nothing i haven't done before, in principle. I remember when i graduated from Grade 8 and went into high school. It felt like i had a chance to make myself new again. To build new relationships that would last a lifetime, to learn things that only the inner workings of the high school society can teach you. By the time i got to my last year in high school, i had built a certain self-image. Even at church, i had the chance to be the youngest worship leader in church in only a couple of years. I had established myself and i thought i knew who i was.

Then i went off to university and the whole thing started over again, but on a larger scale. My high school had 3000 people, western had 30,000. I was a spec of cosmic dust against a whole galaxy of stars and complex solar systems, or so it felt. But then year after year, slowly but surely, i began to break out of my shell and started establish myself again. I went from that shy, quite guy in the corner playing guitar during ACF sinspiration, to a member of the fellowship exec committee and the leader of a successful men's cell group. To tell you the truth, it was quite a transformation and a heck of a journey.

Now I'm back home. For a while i felt like i had crossed some sort of proverbial finish line. But in all reality, all i was doing was climbing up another rung in the ladder, taking another step into bigger, more wide open world. All of a sudden, that galaxy i left back at university seems so small compared to what i'm faced with today. And so the cycle starts all over again. Now i'm the youngest associate at the WFG ottawa office by at least a few years. When i find a cell group at church, i'm pretty sure i'll be the youngest one there too. To say the least, i have my work cut out for me.

Like i said, for a little while i was scared. Only today did i realize that although i'll be heading up completely new challenges and experiences, God has shaped me a certain way and put me through all that stuff in the past to prepare me for today. Today i have a new confidence. I've broken out of my shell many times before, and i will do it again with God at my side, for I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Bring it on.

Can you lose your salvation?

Theresa asked me this question today, citing Hebrews 6:4-6,

"It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace."

... and I don't think i've honesly thought about it until now. After some research and some prayer, here's what i came up with:

Can you lose your salvation? It's either a yes or a no, yet it's probably one of the hardest questions i've ever thought about. That passage in Hebrews seems to point to the notion that salvation can be lost. Think back to when God freed the Israelites from Egypt. People from the generation that left Egypt never made it to the so-called "promised land". Why? Disobedience. Also, remember when Jesus said in Matthew 7:13 "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Jesus was speaking to his disciples, who we can readily assume were the "Christian" equivalents of the time. Jesus also mentions that at the time of Judgment, there will be those who claim to have done works in His name, and yet Jesus will turn them away from the Kingdom of Heaven.

Were those people ever saved in the first place? Were they once saved and then lost their salvation? At the very least, they thought they were saved.

Here's how one might picture it. Life is like one side of a 4-lane highway. And at the end, the 3 left lanes hit a brick wall and the far right lane, the exit lane, leads to another road. Every now and then we like to take the fast lanes. But we know that only one lane leads to the continuing road. So, we remind ourselves, "When the exit comes, i want to keep right." The problem is, like many of us have experienced on a road trip, we don't know when the exit is coming. So what would be the smart thing to do? Stay in the right lane, of course! But we don't.

So, as life progresses, we switch in and out of the right lane, the exit lane, sometimes further to the left than other times. But every time we decide to switch back to the right lane, can we honestly say we've been saved from smashing into the wall at the end of the highway? Can we say that we'll never venture out into the faster lanes ever again? That's one hefty claim, wouldn't you say?

I'm no biblical scholar, but I think Jesus never told anyone they would definitely be saved. He only told them that their sins were forgiven and to go and sin no more. He died for our salvation. He "paved" (haha) the way to Heaven. All we have to do is believe that there is such a road and take it.

So, can we lose our salvation? It seems to me that salvation is only experienced when we actually exit off the highway and never look back. And in that sense, no, we cannot lose it. But, while we're still moving through life, there are definite roads that lead to definite destinations. And we can definitely travel on whichever road we choose and switch at any time, for better or for worse.

If you read further on in Hebrews, the writer qualifies what he said earlier, "Even though we speak like this, dear friends, we are confident of better things in your case - things that accompany salvation. God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." Hebrews 6:9-12

Any day now...

Some people may have noticed my msn name, "waiting..." That pretty much sums up the past week and a half. Before the weekend, i was waiting for Joanie to come to town, then i was waiting for my dad to come home, now i'm waiting for the album to arrive. It's funny... aren't we always waiting for something to come our way? An online purchase to come in the mail, an email response, a promotion, a job offer, answers to prayers, a sign from God that He exists, nightfall, sunrise, etc, etc... But waiting is such a passive thing... wouldn't you rather be proactive? Pursue instead of wait? I guess some things are out of our control... maybe i'm being a little impatient.

Some people have asked and some might still wonder: the album artwork posted below was put together by my brother, Tim. Amazing, isn't it? I wouldn't have posted it if i didn't like it so much.

Quick update of what's been going on...

I finally got around to applying for part-time jobs... Here are the places i've applied to: TD Canada Trust, CIBC, HMV, American Eagle, Banana Republic, Mexx. Let me know if you have any comments or past experiences with these places that one should know about, like... weird initiation rituals, or sacrifical ceremonies, or crappy hours... haha.

After many failed attempts, countless hours of organizing and re-organizing, piles and piles of dust, and years and years of accumulated junk, i can finally say: my room is clean. Honestly, i never knew my room was so big! I don't think it's ever been this clean and organized since i moved here 11 years ago. A big big hand goes to Joanie who took on the daunting task of "the shelf" and "the closet".

One thing i really appreciated when i was at Western was the accountability group i had. It was a time set aside every week to get together with brothers and share, pray, chill, and whatever. Just to be brothers to each other. Now that we've all gone our separate ways, i've found myself missing that kind of fellowship. I've come across some guys here in Ottawa who want to do the same thing, so hopefully that works out. Fellowship is so important.

Next on the agenda, planning a road trip for the band! We're looking to head up to Toronto, London, Montreal, Kingston, etc. So if anyone knows of any cool places a band like us could play at, gimme a holla! What's that you say? What kind of a band are we? Check out our website or listen to some clips of our soon to be released album!

"Is it possible to learn this power?"... "Not from a Jedi..."

Hey HEY!... I finally figured out how to post pictures again. Here's a sneak peak at the new album cover. For other goodies and sound clips, visit www.buckshot.ca

Back Cover 

Front Cover 

It's time i got back, and i don't even know how i got off the track!

This weekend was pretty cool. I went to Toronto for a WFG convention and it was pretty powerful. The more i immerse myself in this business, the more i subscribe to its mission, which is to make a difference for families. It's pretty amazing how humble the people are in this business and how big their hearts are. Even though some people here are making a killing, it doesn't distract them from their goal. There are people here who don't need to work anymore, but they still go out there everyday to do as much as they can to help as many people as they can. Oh! AND i got to see Joanie for a night!

And people can say what they want about commissions jobs, about how it's impossible to have the client's best interests at heart, etc, etc. At the end of the day, i know what my motives are for helping someone, and it's not to make a quick buck. If money was all i was interested in, i'd get a different job, one that pays steadily and regularly. Now all i have to do is get off my butt and get to work!

On another note, this coming weekend is pretty exciting! Joanie is coming to town for the tulip festival, my dad's coming back from Malaysia for a visit, and it marks my return to the OCAC worship team! I'm pretty stoked to be serving at church again. Serving is such an important part of your spiritual walk. Without it, it's so easy to lose your focus on God.

The Buckshot show last night went off without a hitch. I think it was probably our best show to date, performance wise. There were quite a few people there too, which helped fuel our performance. Let's hope the bluesfest scouts were impressed! The sound guy and Eugene, the owner of Zaphod's, were really impressed with our show. "You know, there will be plenty more shows with you guys here!" is what i overheard him saying.

2 weeks until the album is released!

This just in...

I LOVE JOANIE!!!

IRN-BRU: Original and Best

Busy, busy, busy...

Between WFG Training, my band's album release, and being sick, i haven't really had much time to myself, to do things like write this blog! I guess i can just update quickly...

First off, the Weezer concert was amazing! Although i can't say the same for the opener, Ringside. Kinda boring. But when weezer came on, the place just went nuts! After the concert, my friends actually got to meet Brian and Scott from weezer and handed them a Buckshot cd. They said they'd listen to it on their bus, but... they probably get tons of demos and never listen to them. Oh well... Just meeting them would have been amazing. I wish i was there. But standing in line for bubble tea with all my ACFers wasn't too shabby! Always good to hang with you guys.

My mom, sister, and I are trying to cut out carbs in our diets... and I lasted about a day. Haha... carbs are so good. How can you live without rice? Everything is just too salty without rice. Honestly, i don't know how people do it. I think a healthy, balanced diet includes carbs, doesn't it? People who need to cut out carbs don't exercise, i guess.

I've been looking a lot at the Apple website recently. I love the new iMac G5. It looks so... beautiful. The operating system looks so cool and iLife is an amazing software suite. It all started with the iPod... now they've got me intrigued! Those marketing geniuses. Macs are pretty pricey, though. I might have to sell something in order to get one, like an arm or a leg. Anyone interested??.. hehe

anyway... Buckshot has finally sent off its final package for the album release. After 4 years of hard work, late gigs with big crowds and no crowds, style changes, member changes, ups, downs, band wars, numerous recording attempts, and lots and lots of money... we're finally there. Now it's all in the hands of the good folks at Indiepool. Now we just play the waiting game...

Waiting game sucks... let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!